Tuesday Timeline is my space to share stories from our life together and some from our lives before we all met.
A few years ago, I used to read the blog A Cup of Jo but for some reason I lost the link - virus, lost files, crashed laptop etc. This year while perusing the blog lists favoured by several of my favourite blogs, I noticed a link that consistently popped up. Lo and behold, when I eventually clicked on it, the blog A Cup of Jo appeared. Needless to say, I spent that entire afternoon catching up with Jo's blog while Tauren was having a rare afternoon nap. When I write 'rare' I mean it, Tauren is a power-tool! He's been known to stay awake a whole 12 hours since he was 18-months old and he's almost 2-years old.
On Jo's post 'Do or don't: Seeing movies alone' I posted a comment that I indeed missed going to the cinemas on my own, a part of my life before Leo and our children. That was nine years ago! The very next day, I did just that. It's very rare that I do anything because of a blog. It only happened because of two things that finally got to me that day.
Firstly, my Mother accused me of something immature. My Mother and I have never had a lovey-dovey mother-daughter relationship. Never. That's a topic for another Tuesday.
Secondly, with the boys running amok and feeling rundown (again) my partner Leo decided to overwork the ignition to the oven, eventually breaking it. That was my 'breaking point'. Leo is one of those men who have bigger-than-average-male hands and he also doesn't know his own strength. So even though I had reminded him countless times before how to use the oven, he still preferred to power his way through it.
Instead of having it out with Leo, I casually got dressed, grabbed my things and got the heck out of here. I just needed space, air and time. I don't believe there is anything wrong in what I did, other than timing. After three years of being a Stay-At-Home-Mum I realised I've never done anything on my own, without Leo or the kids. I've always been supportive of Leo to socialise with his friends and workmates. I used to think that it's the least I could do since he's our only income provider.
On my way to the cinemas I had several thoughts on my mind:
I should be feeling guilty.
I hope Leo is coping with the boys.
I should go back home just in case.
I wonder what Leo and the boys are doing.
OMG I'm going to the movies... alone... Yipeeeee!
You see, sometimes, it's okay to just say What about me? It's even super when you actually do something for yourself, because once it's done, it can't be taken back. I always over-think an issue (the listmaker in me) and eventually give up because of what I thought was best for our family. However, balance is key to every aspect of our lives.
On my way home I asked myself, What else have I given up since leaving my fulltime job to have our second child? I made a list of ten things and then told myself, I have to do each one before my birthday in July. Arriving home, the kids were fed, bathed, Aries was in bed asleep and Tauren was placid ready for a snuggle.
The day after, I woke up feeling new again. When Leo came home from work, he said my going off was a wake up call about how I'm rarely ever alone. I was taken aback when he added how he enjoyed the time with the boys alone. He even asked me to find my 'alone time' every second week. That evening, he was appreciative of how much work is involved in the 'night routine' and liked not hearing me shout orders up and down the house.
To be honest, since that day, I haven't shouted at our kids much. Maybe I won't lose my voice this year?